Pain relief conversation!

I doubt there are many people completely happy with their lives, as humans we are always striving for more, and always seem to lack something, not satisfied with life, convinced that we are the only ones that suffer and others have easier and better lifestyle. Fair enough, who is not guilty of thinking why me? Why can't I be like so and so that have everything? Why do some people have it all and I am the way that I am? Yes these are questions that invade our head at times but not many of us will voice them out loud and especially not to strangers or people we have just met. But then we are not professional nurses, who it seems have different ideas to us.

Two nurses went on their daily visit to a friend of mine whose health and ability got weaker over the last three years, to the extent she is at hospital almost 4 times a week, and GP has advised her to stay at home for they do not know when she will need urgent admission or district nurse visit. The problem started when the regular nurse brought a new nurse who will help them when and if they are short staffed, so she wanted to show her what my friend needs, as they started to make conversation to distract my friend from the procedure as it is very painful, the regular nurse asked my friend if she managed to go and see the Paralympics game and my friend replied yes, at that moment the new nurse commented 'you are so lucky, as are all disabled people' my friend laughed and did not comment assuming the woman was joking, I mean where is the lucky break in going to see an event that everyone had equal chances of seeing?? question that remained stuck inside my friend's head, but the new nurse did not stop there, and to make her lack of common sense shines further, she informed my friend that she has a relative who feels sorry for people with disability but she tells him no, don't pity them they have a better life than us, so many facilities, exemptions, special offers, and everything is catered for them'. My friend was speechless, just as I was when I heard about the incident. My friend could not stay quiet, so she asked the nurse to elaborate because what she just claimed bears nothing to reality which we live every day, then said look at me, I have been almost bed bound for the past 3 years do you still think I have a better life? The nurse did not give up and carried on her argument saying 'well the government looks after you'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You get free tickets for your carer!!!!!!!!!

My poor friend just gave up at the point, thinking I would have rather tolerated the pain of the procedure in its full glory rather than listen to the knowledgeable nurse!!

As I write the blog I am still stunned by the words of this nurse, evidently education does not mean common sense and professional titles does not ensure you have care, knowledge and compassion, how can any senior nurse goes to visit a sick  and weak person and tells them they have a better life than physically able people? How can she dismiss the person pain and suffering and all for what? A free ticket that would cost 40 pounds? I would love to ask that nurse for 40 pounds would you sacrifice your health, ability and freedom?? would you go to hospital almost daily, will you wait for carers to get you ready and then wait for someone to prepare food for you and that is not even addressing all the other issues, such as public transport, access to buildings and amenities and the fact that you are constantly judged on your appearance and ability!!!!  I do not blame people for thinking that but to actually say it to such vulnerable person and by an experienced profession is inexcusable. If we assume that she has never worked or encountered people with various impairments, has she never watched the news or watched TV or read newspapers? Does she not know that many court cases over the right to die are by people who are severally impaired? I wonder if she still thinks they are lucky. Maybe they are so lucky they want to escape this world so they don't get envied!  

As a child growing up in a mainstream school, I often had children saying oh not fair you are so lucky you don't have to do PE, oh why are you allowed to leave early? Wow you are so lucky you have your own bus to take you, why you don't line up for school dinner? Not fair!!!     Yes they were right, not fair, but they were children who judged things from visual facts without understanding the full story. They had no idea that no I wanted to wait in the line for school dinner, I did not want to leave early I wanted to go on the public bus with them, I did not want to be different, did not enjoy it and made me feel uncomfortable as it built a wall between me and other children, and even if it did not then it limited my interaction with them, you form special friendship walking home together, or leaving school at the same time etc. all these things I along with a lot of other disabled student were deprived from yet people saw us as lucky, and honestly I am to blame for that as I never corrected them for fear of being less, of seeming weaker and I was so desperate to be their equal!

But as I said these were children and this is a professional nurse, why enter a career that requires certain qualities such as care and compassion and show none of it?  Ironically people with impairment are usually judged on appearance so they are either dismissed or pitted in this instant they are envied for their lack of ability!  

No where To Run!

If we can not trust carers, nurses or doctors then surely a hospital that combines them all is likely to be the worst nightmare that any individual can experience. It would be fair to say that I am talking about certain group of individuals, such as the elderly, weak and disabled or people who do not speak perfect English who

would often go alone, making them a dismissive figures in the eye of health professions. I am sure few people will like to argue against my point but before you do, ask yourself do you go to your hospital appointments alone? are you impaired in anyway? what is your gender, nationality and occupation. I have observed this with my own eyes how people get treated differently in hospitals, even I have suffered from this but I found the best way to deal with this behaviour is to make it known that I am highly educated, I speak English and sadly I try not to be too nice, because when you are nice professionals do not take you seriously. 

I am not going to share my experience in this post and save it for future ones but I will narrate a recent incident that happened to a friend of mine who got admitted into hospital in the hope of curing a recurrent problem, what she did not expect that she was put in a private room, it is great  in a way as it guarantees peace and quiet but it also means that she will be left alone all day as nurses do not come to check on her, even when they are buzzed the nurses do not come instantly like  they are required to do, they either do not bother or go after an hour or less, by then my friend would either have given up or made to feel guilty for  they are busy and she buzzed them! 

The hospital stay lasted 5 days, seemed like 500 days, being neglected by nurses is one thing, but get given double the prescribed IV antibiotic is just sheer irresponsibility and negligence, when my friend noticed that she is being given two bags of IV she questioned the nurse, who assured her it is the correct dose that the doctor had prescribed and when the registrar doctor came my friend again voiced her concern but as usual was dismissed as CLEARLY DOCTORS know best! It was only when another doctor saw her on the last day of her stay that he confirmed the antibiotic was double the dose and wrong type!! By that stage my friend just wanted to escape home, the only place where she feels safe, and did not want to make an issue of the antibiotic incident, knowing that no one would take her seriously and health profession 'stick together' leaving her more vulnerable than ever as she will have to see them every week. But the most important thing is that she is escaping this...not sure what would be a right title, prison you would be watched, here she was not, confinement, basic care would have been given, it is almost a place that you expose yourself to shooters and attackers where you can't trust or rely on anyone. 

It always amazes me why it takes 4 hours for the hospital pharmacy to prepare the medication, considering as in inpatient they should have enough prepared but let us not be too critical the most important thing is getting the medicine and going home. leaving the hospital in a worse state than when she came in and being told by doctors that they lack the specified knowledge to treat her condition, my friend was still upbeat, if that is possible but the thought of getting home made everything else just seem trivial. Finally took the medicine that was put in a bag and off she went home, only to discover on arrival that she was given the wrong medicine!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank god my friend is educated, aware and does not live alone, can you imagine if an elderly had been given the wrong medicine they would have carried on taking it without realising the mistake!! After phoning the hospital my friend gets told to bring it back and take the correct one, already tired and frail my friend heads back to hospital where she is advised to come back tomorrow as her medicine won't be ready until then!!!

Hospitals are meant to cure people and if there is no cure then at least make them comfortable, help them to live with their condition and provide the care and attention that no other place would offer, not ignore, belittle dismiss and generally make your health and emotion in a worse condition than it was.

I want to complain and take this further but it is my friend's choice and as she pointed out to me, she is  a long term patient at that hospital, the minute she complains the worse the treatment she will receive, and ultimately it is her word against a handful of professions. I hope that reading this blog will make people more aware of what being admitted into hospitals entails, handing over your body to careless professions.