Saved By The Kindness of Strangers

I usually blog about the inconsiderate or unhelpful nature of people or how little care is found in our society if not world, but today my faith in humanity was slightly restored and I wanted to share this new found faith with you all.

I had an appointment at the hospital today, it was an emergency kind of appointment after I had developed a severe infection on a pressure sore that has troubled my elbow for the past 3 years. Just before I left the house, there was slight drizzle, my mother told me to call a taxi but I knew it would take a while and I risk being late, which may mean losing an appointment that I had fought hard to get. I took the brave decision of driving my wheelchair to the hospital which would take me 25 minutes.

9 minutes into my journey the rain started to get heavier, wind stronger and before I knew it there was a hail storm! Due to my weak respiratory function, I could not breath, turned my back to the wind and kept trying to fight the rain, and sought protection next to a nearby Sushi Tapas Bar. At that precise moment the closed Bar suddenly opened and a waitress came out calling me to go inside, I was overcome with mixed emotions, my anger, frustration, helplessness all vanished and were replaced with happiness, relief and overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the waitress and for God who had answered my prayer as I asked for help.

Once I was inside the rest of the Bar staff got kitchen towels and started drying me, then offered me a drink. I was so impressed by their kindness and kept thinking 'there is hope after all'. I stayed inside and asked my carer to hail a taxi although I kept thinking that there is no way a taxi driver would stop, let alone have a ramp and be willing to use it. For the second time that day I was pleasantly surprised and proven wrong, a nice taxi driver did stop, did have a ramp and got it all ready for me, then drove to the hospital and I made my appointment with ten minutes to spare.

I can never thank the Bar staff and the taxi driver enough, not just for their kind act but for restoring my faith in humanity and teaching me a valuable lesson: never give up hoping for a solution to a problem or for a mercy from above.  

Food Glorious Food... is Best Served Cold

As the Government cuts continue to hit the people that needs it the most, I felt it is important to blog about incidents that I have been hearing about through reliable sources. Therefore in the next few blog's entries I shall narrate these little stories, to give people a better idea of what the cuts mean to certain individuals.

We might be able to survive without physical ability, friends, family, outings, daily activities but can you imagine living life without having hot food? That is precisely what an elderly man living on his own was told by a social worker, basically the council's cuts meant he will only have 30 minutes carer time - during which food will be prepared, when he protested that it is not enough for the food to be cooked and served, the reply he got was 'eat sandwiches or have salad'! For so many people the only joy they have in life is food and even that is now deemed as a luxury.

I wonder if the people who have the power to make such decision have ever tried to place themselves in the situation of this elderly man? would they give up their daily hot meal? I can not be angry at the people who implement such rules, they are only following orders and have no input in any decision, but surely we are not robots, don't they feel for the pain, deprivation and suffering of others? Can a job make you sell your principle and switch off your conscience for the sake of survival. Don't the social worker, carers, council workers etc all realise that one day they will be the same situation if not worse, nothing in this life is guaranteed, so why agree to follow orders and not fight them? If not for the sake of the people being affected then for your own interest, as it will easily be you one day.

This elderly man, does not have family, lives alone, and has mobility problem, having a hot meal once or twice a week was the tiny joy that the world offered him and now because the government has decided cuts must be made this solitary enjoyment has to be sacrificed.  At the end of the day, he is just a number in the government's data, a sum of money that has to be cut, but his rights as a human being is not considered. Ironically though it is exactly these so called 'cuts' which will lead to higher spending, as people in need of care will eventually be affected physically and mentally. The inability to live a fairly independent conventional life will cause depression, illness and eventually health deterioration, which will mean frequent visits to the doctor, being on long term medication and possible hospital admission all of which can be interpreted into the  governments language as more cost, hence totally diffusing their objective.    

I find it astonishing that people can just sit and think 'oh it is not affecting me', or 'the government has no choice'. No, there are always choices, other options that can be sought, and trust me I write this blog knowing that one day I may find myself in a similar if not even worse situation than this elderly man. Failing to feel the pain and misery of others will lead our society to becoming even more detached and dysfunctional and this will be reflected on the level of care and attitude of people around us.

I end the blog with few simple suggestions, maybe cuts need to be made but surely health, education, social care are the backbones of any developing country and should be improved not slowly diminished. If that is the only option which I personally doubt, then find an alternative, another way for the elderly man to get his hot meal, maybe encourage unemployed individuals to volunteer, grow a sense of community. Simply search for a way that food can be heated without increasing the allocated carer's time, anything just offer the elderly man and so many others the hope for a better tomorrow and the will to live.  

Pain relief conversation!

I doubt there are many people completely happy with their lives, as humans we are always striving for more, and always seem to lack something, not satisfied with life, convinced that we are the only ones that suffer and others have easier and better lifestyle. Fair enough, who is not guilty of thinking why me? Why can't I be like so and so that have everything? Why do some people have it all and I am the way that I am? Yes these are questions that invade our head at times but not many of us will voice them out loud and especially not to strangers or people we have just met. But then we are not professional nurses, who it seems have different ideas to us.

Two nurses went on their daily visit to a friend of mine whose health and ability got weaker over the last three years, to the extent she is at hospital almost 4 times a week, and GP has advised her to stay at home for they do not know when she will need urgent admission or district nurse visit. The problem started when the regular nurse brought a new nurse who will help them when and if they are short staffed, so she wanted to show her what my friend needs, as they started to make conversation to distract my friend from the procedure as it is very painful, the regular nurse asked my friend if she managed to go and see the Paralympics game and my friend replied yes, at that moment the new nurse commented 'you are so lucky, as are all disabled people' my friend laughed and did not comment assuming the woman was joking, I mean where is the lucky break in going to see an event that everyone had equal chances of seeing?? question that remained stuck inside my friend's head, but the new nurse did not stop there, and to make her lack of common sense shines further, she informed my friend that she has a relative who feels sorry for people with disability but she tells him no, don't pity them they have a better life than us, so many facilities, exemptions, special offers, and everything is catered for them'. My friend was speechless, just as I was when I heard about the incident. My friend could not stay quiet, so she asked the nurse to elaborate because what she just claimed bears nothing to reality which we live every day, then said look at me, I have been almost bed bound for the past 3 years do you still think I have a better life? The nurse did not give up and carried on her argument saying 'well the government looks after you'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You get free tickets for your carer!!!!!!!!!

My poor friend just gave up at the point, thinking I would have rather tolerated the pain of the procedure in its full glory rather than listen to the knowledgeable nurse!!

As I write the blog I am still stunned by the words of this nurse, evidently education does not mean common sense and professional titles does not ensure you have care, knowledge and compassion, how can any senior nurse goes to visit a sick  and weak person and tells them they have a better life than physically able people? How can she dismiss the person pain and suffering and all for what? A free ticket that would cost 40 pounds? I would love to ask that nurse for 40 pounds would you sacrifice your health, ability and freedom?? would you go to hospital almost daily, will you wait for carers to get you ready and then wait for someone to prepare food for you and that is not even addressing all the other issues, such as public transport, access to buildings and amenities and the fact that you are constantly judged on your appearance and ability!!!!  I do not blame people for thinking that but to actually say it to such vulnerable person and by an experienced profession is inexcusable. If we assume that she has never worked or encountered people with various impairments, has she never watched the news or watched TV or read newspapers? Does she not know that many court cases over the right to die are by people who are severally impaired? I wonder if she still thinks they are lucky. Maybe they are so lucky they want to escape this world so they don't get envied!  

As a child growing up in a mainstream school, I often had children saying oh not fair you are so lucky you don't have to do PE, oh why are you allowed to leave early? Wow you are so lucky you have your own bus to take you, why you don't line up for school dinner? Not fair!!!     Yes they were right, not fair, but they were children who judged things from visual facts without understanding the full story. They had no idea that no I wanted to wait in the line for school dinner, I did not want to leave early I wanted to go on the public bus with them, I did not want to be different, did not enjoy it and made me feel uncomfortable as it built a wall between me and other children, and even if it did not then it limited my interaction with them, you form special friendship walking home together, or leaving school at the same time etc. all these things I along with a lot of other disabled student were deprived from yet people saw us as lucky, and honestly I am to blame for that as I never corrected them for fear of being less, of seeming weaker and I was so desperate to be their equal!

But as I said these were children and this is a professional nurse, why enter a career that requires certain qualities such as care and compassion and show none of it?  Ironically people with impairment are usually judged on appearance so they are either dismissed or pitted in this instant they are envied for their lack of ability!  

No where To Run!

If we can not trust carers, nurses or doctors then surely a hospital that combines them all is likely to be the worst nightmare that any individual can experience. It would be fair to say that I am talking about certain group of individuals, such as the elderly, weak and disabled or people who do not speak perfect English who

would often go alone, making them a dismissive figures in the eye of health professions. I am sure few people will like to argue against my point but before you do, ask yourself do you go to your hospital appointments alone? are you impaired in anyway? what is your gender, nationality and occupation. I have observed this with my own eyes how people get treated differently in hospitals, even I have suffered from this but I found the best way to deal with this behaviour is to make it known that I am highly educated, I speak English and sadly I try not to be too nice, because when you are nice professionals do not take you seriously. 

I am not going to share my experience in this post and save it for future ones but I will narrate a recent incident that happened to a friend of mine who got admitted into hospital in the hope of curing a recurrent problem, what she did not expect that she was put in a private room, it is great  in a way as it guarantees peace and quiet but it also means that she will be left alone all day as nurses do not come to check on her, even when they are buzzed the nurses do not come instantly like  they are required to do, they either do not bother or go after an hour or less, by then my friend would either have given up or made to feel guilty for  they are busy and she buzzed them! 

The hospital stay lasted 5 days, seemed like 500 days, being neglected by nurses is one thing, but get given double the prescribed IV antibiotic is just sheer irresponsibility and negligence, when my friend noticed that she is being given two bags of IV she questioned the nurse, who assured her it is the correct dose that the doctor had prescribed and when the registrar doctor came my friend again voiced her concern but as usual was dismissed as CLEARLY DOCTORS know best! It was only when another doctor saw her on the last day of her stay that he confirmed the antibiotic was double the dose and wrong type!! By that stage my friend just wanted to escape home, the only place where she feels safe, and did not want to make an issue of the antibiotic incident, knowing that no one would take her seriously and health profession 'stick together' leaving her more vulnerable than ever as she will have to see them every week. But the most important thing is that she is escaping this...not sure what would be a right title, prison you would be watched, here she was not, confinement, basic care would have been given, it is almost a place that you expose yourself to shooters and attackers where you can't trust or rely on anyone. 

It always amazes me why it takes 4 hours for the hospital pharmacy to prepare the medication, considering as in inpatient they should have enough prepared but let us not be too critical the most important thing is getting the medicine and going home. leaving the hospital in a worse state than when she came in and being told by doctors that they lack the specified knowledge to treat her condition, my friend was still upbeat, if that is possible but the thought of getting home made everything else just seem trivial. Finally took the medicine that was put in a bag and off she went home, only to discover on arrival that she was given the wrong medicine!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank god my friend is educated, aware and does not live alone, can you imagine if an elderly had been given the wrong medicine they would have carried on taking it without realising the mistake!! After phoning the hospital my friend gets told to bring it back and take the correct one, already tired and frail my friend heads back to hospital where she is advised to come back tomorrow as her medicine won't be ready until then!!!

Hospitals are meant to cure people and if there is no cure then at least make them comfortable, help them to live with their condition and provide the care and attention that no other place would offer, not ignore, belittle dismiss and generally make your health and emotion in a worse condition than it was.

I want to complain and take this further but it is my friend's choice and as she pointed out to me, she is  a long term patient at that hospital, the minute she complains the worse the treatment she will receive, and ultimately it is her word against a handful of professions. I hope that reading this blog will make people more aware of what being admitted into hospitals entails, handing over your body to careless professions. 

Forgetting the Forgetful!

As much as I love my blog and enjoy writing, sometimes I wish I don't have the material to blog about, just when I get accustomed to certain flaws, which is wrong to do, something happens and makes me realise there are so many wrongs in this world that go unnoticed or ignored.

The latest story  is about 74 years old Lady who suffers from dementia, lives alone but gets daily care by a care agency. This lady has the same carer that goes to her everyday except Saturday, and so on that day the agency forgets to send a cover or a replacement and the elderly lady stays alone in the house looking for something to eat, does not know how to bath or toilet herself and of course does not take the medication she is on.

The regular carer complains and voices her concern but the office apologise and after all we are all humans and commit mistakes and forgetful!!! But this is repeated almost every week so human error is actually not an error but negligence and lack of care.

Imagine the vulnerability of the woman, or the fact that she goes for a whole day without food or medication, if people can place themselves in her or in the position of all the cases I have written about only then will better care service be provided. People who make laws, regulations, control health and social care need to imagine being that person in need of the service or think that it could be them in need of help only then the treatment that will be on offer will be of a high class.

Streets or world apart?

Two days ago there was a report in my local newspaper about how a child had outgrown his wheelchair and his parents could not afford the 18 thousand wheelchair he needed so his community raised the money and and the little boy was able to go out again. Such a tale gives hope and a warming feeling inside each one of us regardless of our ability, we all could be that little boy or his parents. It is a fact that every person blocks out or dismiss but eventually all will need to be cared or looked after if not for life then for a brief period, no one is exempt from getting old, ill, or in need of help but we all forget that we are just vulnerable humans, the strength and ability one has could be lost in a second, this is something that people need to always remember.

Ironically in the same area but different street a friend of mine, an adult I may add, had her wheelchair stolen from the front door of her house, by a local teenager well known to the neighbours and police for that matter, luckily the wheelchair was eventually found but at what cost? and what are the consequences?

The boy is a minor so although he does this often he can't be imprisoned and if my friend presses charges what will he get at most warning and where will that leave her? she could make an enemy of him, increasing the likelihood of another attack. Even the police did not entertain the idea and offered an alternative option, to bring the boy to my friend's house to apologise on the ground that 'if they see the state that my friend is in the boy will think twice before he attempt such a thing' What a nonsense! The boy must have known my friend because they live on the same street, he must have seen her return from hospital park her wheelchair then took it, he must have also seen the state of the wheelchair, a very worn out old type of wheelchair, if all of these facts did not stop him in the first place why would seeing her at home make him guilty or remorseful?

Unfortunately my friend has no choice, she is happy that her wheelchair is back and does not want any further troubles and desperate to forget the whole ordeal, to be mugged is a bad enough concept, the idea of a stranger taking something precious of yours and you are not strong enough to stop them is self destroying but to have what could be best described as your 'legs' or your 'pass' into the active word, taken off you from within your safety net is a situation that is horrendous beyond words. How can one feel safe again? and how do you trust your community?

Many people will not realise the importance and connection a person has with its wheelchair, it is more than wheels that allows you to move or participate in the outside world, it is your key to freedom, your companion, your legs,an important aspect of  life that has a special bond which is hard to break, it is almost like part of your body and to have it stolen or broken makes the person feel more vulnerable and weak than anyone can envisage.

I end the blog none the wiser, how can the same area experience two contrasting situation, how at a time of economical recession people manage to donate a wheelchair costing 18 thousand pounds to a young boy and at the same time a teenage boy steals an old worn out wheelchair from a young adult? Do I expect too much from the world?  does bad behaviour have to exist alongside good one? is this a fair balance? I honestly don't know, but I do believe if everyone thought for a second that this could be me one day then all our behaviours would be so different, if that young boy had imagined for a second he could be my friend would he have still stolen the wheelchair? if the police had imagined this is them or a member of their family would they have been happy and satisfied with an apology? As long as we lack empathy and compassion this injustice will carry on and continue to flourish.

Whose Fault is it anyway?

It has been a while since my last blog, not that my situation changed at all but unfortunately I got accustomed to the daily blunders of care professions, so I felt less inspired to blog about something I had accepted as part of life. But today I heard a story that made me so furious and angry that I decided to return to the one place I feel one day could make a difference, my blog.

Before I start narrating the story, let me just remind you of a song that popped into my head as soon as I heard this case, Phil Collins 'he ain't heavy he is my brother', its not the actual music I am interested in but the idea behind that line. The story begins with an old age pensioner in her mid 80s, lives alone and is a wheelchair user, due to her weight she has to be hoisted (over 14 stone approx). Yesterday at 7pm the carer went to get the lady ready for bed only to find the hoist has broken down, so she calls the emergency repair hotline and is told by the care agency to wait until the hoist is fixed. All perfectly reasonable so far, 3 hours later still no sign of the hoist engineer, every time the carer called the hotline number gets told they are coming. By 10:30pm the carer could no longer wait, which is understandable as she has to get home, see to her own family and prepare for the next day, so the carer covers the old lady with blanket and leaves her to spend the night sitting in her wheelchair without even going to the toilet!!!.

Can any of us imagine sleeping seated in a wheelchair without going to the toilet for more than 18 hours???? Well that is what this lady had to endure as the hoist engineer did not turn up, when the carer returned in the morning the hoist was still broken and it remained so until this afternoon. (I have not been updated at the time of my blogging) Whose to blame for the degrading and painful night that the vulnerable OAP had to endure? It is certainly the engineer for not coming to fix the hoist, but how can a human being's life depend on a machine??? if the woman had children living near they would have struggled to lift her, if we lived in a world that has a sense of community and compassion then the neighbours would have gone to help, if social care was in better shape than its current state then there would be a contingency plan,  a sort of back up that ensures the welfare of the old and vulnerable is never jeopardised. It is ironic that so much care is on offer but served with little care.

Phil Collins did not notice the weight of the person because he was a brother, 10 stone will seem like lifting an elephant if you are not related to the person or more accurately if there is no emotional involvement.

There are so many people, system and institutions to blame but all have one common ground lack of care and compassion.